Malvern Training Day: 16th October 2010

Here are some brief notes and the book recommendations for the day.

Age related development and the differences between boys and girls

Babies
Live in a present world that is bounded by their senses – learning is all through their experience of touch, taste, smell, sound and sight.
Are totally dependent on their carers
Stages of faith – pre-stage: foundations of faith strong through trust/love
Boys and girls relatively alike

Early childhood (2-6)
Begin to move from experience only to mimicry and play
Assimilate knowledge and incorporate it into their thinking

Behaviour determined by response of key adults
See world from own perspective - learning rules of nature and society
Parallel learners
Like security and routine
Brimming with imagination and creativity
Faith – imitative, acquired – highly susceptible to our view of God (or worldview, whatever that is)
Like symbols and rituals - experience feelings that they may not be able to describe
Brains are coded to grow from the right hemisphere to the left. Female brain coded to grow more quickly from right to left – young girls use higher quantity of words and more coherent language

Mid childhood (5-9)
Concrete learners– hard to imagine what they haven’t experienced - need visual stimulus
Learns new information easily – beginning to understand sequences
Basic sense of right and wrong - like rules and regulations

Self-centred but becoming group learners and want to win
Look for adult approval
Developing co-ordination - like to make things
Children can distinguish fantasy v reality
God still a ‘super parent’ - faith will still be the faith of the ‘community’
Story very important. Hard to reflect in abstract way (what does that mean for drawing out the moral of a story or parable?)
By 5 children recognise themselves as a ‘girl’ or a ‘boy’

Hippocampus – section of brain responsible for memory storage – larger in girls
By 8-9, if you give a list to 3 tasks to a boy and girl, girl more likely to complete list than boy with less reminding

Tweenagers (9-13)
Relationships are key - importance of friends, teenage role models and authority figures they respect
Appetite for information – beginning to categorize
Begin to think in more abstract ways
Sense of justice
Enjoy being in a team
More complex physical skills
Skills that are developed and practiced during these years are laid down for life
Beginning to question the assumption that adults are always ‘right’ and the keeper of all knowledge. MAY personalise faith
Our life view is largely formed by 13
Girls need to connect – intellectually with information and ideas, emotionally (friends, looks, popularity). Although they enjoy competition, the need to win is secondary to the need to connect and be part of the group.
Boys feel unhappy if they can’t perform – they want to be chosen in some field of play, work or intelligence and need to be given praise for success. Boys often prefer to socialise in larger groups than girls

Faith and spirituality

Faith is an action: Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

Jesus said, 'Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of God.' Matthew 18:3

Consider
• Children have a more holistic way of seeing things – perception has a more mystical quality
• Children are open and curious – natural capacity for wonder
• Children are discovering new things daily – comfortable with the feeling of surprise
• Children’s emotional life is at least as strong as their intellectual life – don’t / can’t kind from their feelings – know what it is like to surrender to forces beyond their control
• Lack knowledge of many things – mystery is close and usually unthreatening – responding with a search for meaning is an everyday occurrence
• Accept their language is often inadequate to express their thoughts and feelings –comfortable with the power of what is ineffable

Nurturing spirituality is more that what is said. According to Rebecca Nye, it involves
Space; Process; Imagination; Relationship; Intimacy; Trust

Family and community

Research suggests that the healthiest, best adjusted children – both boys and girls - can be found when there is what Gurian calls a three-family system:
• Nuclear family (mum/dad; single parent; blended family)
• Extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, day care providers) – there to support first family
• Community (church, school or clubs – but for them to be effective their must be significant, family-like bonds with the people there)

Although this 3 tier system is important for both girls and boys, what they gain from it is different.

Girls: a hidden yearning in every girl’s and woman’s life to live in a safe web of intimate relationships with their families and their wider community

Boys: Competition is crucial to male development and self-image, so crucial that studies show boys who play organised sports are less likely to do drugs, join gangs, and become antisocial than boys who do not. The community becomes their 'tribe' - needs inspirational 'elders'

Ritual and tradition

Ways of passing on the faith and allowing spirituality to be outworked as indiduals and in family / community settings.

 

	Understanding Children, Understanding God, Ronni Lamont   Covers age development and some thinking on spirituality.
	Children's Spirituality, Rebecca Nye   More detail on children's spirituality and nurture.
	Through the eyes of a child   One chapter on spirituality and 12 other chapters looking at aspects of theology (creation, Word, grace, salvation, judgement, angels, heaven and hell...) starting with the views of children.
	One Generation from Extinction, Mark Griffiths Mark's PhD research and conclusions. Some practical examples of outreach projects that work and thinking about why they are 'sucessful'.
	Formational Children's Ministry, Ivy Beckwith Thoughts on the use of story, ritual and tradition in children's ministry at church and in the home.
	The Wonder of Boys, Michael Gurian
	The Wonder of Girls, Michael Gurian
	Multi-Sensory Ideas for Worship, Irene Smale 100 ideas each with a way to use it in as an activity in children's or all age groups, or as part of a worship service.   Available from Kingsway online shop...
	The Big God Story, Michelle Anthony   Journey from Genesis to Revelation in just 32 illustrated pages, seeing the many ways God has shown his love and redemption through history.   A book for families to share or children's group leaders to use.